How To Let Your Partner Know You Are Not In The Mood?

There should be no expiry date for sex in a couple relationship. But sometimes you might say ‘no’ to sex for valid reasons. And, this might start causing differences and problems in your couple relationship. The situation is a delicate one and should be handled with lot of care and patience. It might happen that on saying no to sex, your partner gets hurt emotionally. He might start feeling dejected and insulted and all this might take a toll on your relationship.

If you are not in the mood for sex, you must convey the message to your partner in a proper manner. This will be less upsetting for him and you will not feel guilty as well. There are many different ways in which you can let your partner know that you are not in the mood for sex. Implementing the ways properly can save your partner from getting emotionally hurt and upset.

How To Let Your Partner Know You Are Not In The Mood?

Different ways to let your partner know that you are not in the mood

There are technically a lot of ways through which you can tell your partner that you are not in the mood for sex. Just be sure that you don’t end up hurting your partner while delivering the message.

Mentioned below are some ways which might seem effective in handling this weird situation:

  • Gradually drop the beans:

Going slowly and gradually is probably the best way of letting your partner know that you are not in the mood for sex. Saying no abruptly might be very rude and that will surely hurt the emotions and feelings of your partner. Along with feeling hurt, they might also feel unwanted and ignored. It is obvious that you don’t want them to feel like that.

Drop clear hints about your mood or directly tell them that you are feeling extremely tired and exhausted. On informing slowly, your partner will be able to adjust to the change. He will not be upset suddenly. This will save both of you from embarrassment in such a situation.

  • Don’t pretend to be in the mood when you are not:

Pretending and doing what you don’t feel like doing is the worst way of keeping your partner happy. In this way, none of you would be happy. Instead this will only lead to misconceptions and misunderstandings in the relationship.

If you pretend to be in the mood when you are actually not, this means that you are lying to yourself as well as to your partner. Just imagine how your partner would feel if he comes to know that you pretended to be in the mood when you are not actually. Be honest and truthful with your partner and see how this is well accepted and appreciated at the same time.

  • Make better plans instead of sex:

Once you have told your partner that you are not in the mood, it will surely disappoint him/her at least for some time. They might have been planning for a sensuous steamy session, but when that gets turned down, it is definitely upsetting. But, you can make some other better plans, which will uplift your mood and repair their bad mood to some extent as well.

You can plan surprises, arrange a romantic date, or do anything else that will make them happy. They will no longer remain upset about your ‘no’. Making the plans will mean a lot to them as they will surely appreciate your efforts to make them feel wanted and special.

  • Let them be aware that they matter to you:

Make your partner feel that he is the most special person in your life. Let him know how lucky you are to have him as your partner in life. Talk to him about the special and unique bond that you share with him. Tell him how your life has changed for good and become more beautiful after this relationship. Express your love and concern for him and tell him how much he matters for you. A couple relationship is about love, care, concern and understanding – make your partner realise that.

  • Lighten up the atmosphere after saying ‘no’:

Another way to make your ‘no’ less complicated is to tell your partner what he means to you and how you are incomplete without him. His hurt ego will be a little consoled with your words. He will also feel wanted and loved. Your saying no might make the ambience a bit sombre. Try lightening the situation by making things normal. The act will also show that you respect your partner and care about his thoughts.

  • Let them know that it’s not concerned with them:

When you tell your partner that you are not in the mood, you should make sure that you let him know that he is not the reason behind it. There are many moments when the partner might think himself to be responsible for you not being in mood for sex. He might develop low-esteem or be low on the confidence level for no reason at all. This is not a healthy sign for any couple relationship and should be handled with care.

Therefore, it is essential to let your partner know that he is not the reason behind you not being in the mood to have sex. This brings in clarity and transparency in the relationship and it is possible to avert misunderstandings and misconceptions.

  • Plan the same thing later on:

This is a highly significant step that you take after saying ‘no’ for the current day. You can plan the same special date with your partner later on when both of you are in the perfect mood for sex. Making an advance plan always works for both the partners as abundant time is available for mental preparation. Also, both partners look forward to the meeting and the session and will try giving in their everything to make the moment very special and beautiful.

These are some tried and tested ways of letting your partner know that you are not in the mood for sex right at this moment. Your partner will not be hurt with the ‘no’ when you take the right steps in letting him know the proper reason in the right manner.

Infact your truth and honesty will be appreciated by your partner if he understands you and really loves you. With such transparency in a relationship, chances of misunderstandings are less.


Appreciation is the best solution to all the couple problems. When you appreciate your partner for what they are and for how they treat you, you let them know that they are unique to you and you value them a lot. In this way, you will not upset your partner about not being in the mood of sex and also will make them feel special differently and uniquely.

There is no doubt about the fact that sex plays an important role in any couple relationship, but it is not the only thing involved. There are many other factors which make a couple happy and contended. So, if one partner is saying no to sex one day, it shouldn’t be an issue at all. Rather the decision should be respected. Following these simple things are key to a happy and successful relationship.

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